July 8, 2011

too tired...

Well, it's been an interesting day to say the least... Ten minutes before I left work someone gave me news I was not expecting. First, my blood was boiling and I wanted to smack someone. Then, I laughed my ass off that people think they can hide things from me when we work at the same place and know all of the same people. DUH!

Basically, it's a good thing that I did not rush my divorce. I really wanted to, but I held him in such contempt that I did not desire to see him or speak to him long enough to work it out. Now that I have done my healing and I have truly forgiven us both for whatever decisions led us down this path, I simply feel sorry for him. He did not deserve me, but he had his chance anyway and he blew it. Life marches on.

Today, however, I received news that rumors and innuendos about him receiving money were actually true. He did, indeed, receive a large sum of money. Which means, of course, that if it was not related to his health, I may be entitled to as much as half of it. Naturally, I drove home mentally compiling a bill for my services as caregiver, babysitter, chauffeur, laundress, and accountant for him and his son. I also thought about compensatory damages. Hhmm.... I wonder what the going rate is for everything I endured during our brief time together. I'll leave that up to the lawyer that I will be meeting with soon. It is clear he is going to drag his feet now that I know he has something to hide, and I would prefer to put the past in my rearview mirror.

Moving forward- I did see John today and we laughed just like old times. He is an odd bird, that one, but he is still my friend. It was refreshing to jump between stories of work and failed relationships and "light reading in quantum physics". I was amazed at what he remembered about our old times hanging out as a foursome in 2001/2002. Memories...

Next, after running a few errands, I took Cassidy back to the car dealership. They do have a program for college students with income but no previous credit history. In fact, if we weren't so strict on the monthly payment, she could have driven home today. But the good news is that she WILL drive back to Illinois in August! We just want her to save another $500-$700 for the down payment so her payments will be manageable for her with her job back at school. After all, she has to pay her insurance, too.

So, now I am home, in my recliner, and while I am heartily motivated to create art inspired by Wednesday night, I am physically too tired to move. So, I will leave you with this thought:

"The best thing that has ever happened to you is not the best thing that could ever happen to you."


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