October 6, 2012

I'm Changed

I'm different.

As I sit on my balcony in this familiar chair, I realize that I am not the same person I was in June. I spent the summer getting tan, making new friends, enjoying more than a few Adult Beverages, and ultimately redefining my priorities.

Somehow, when I wasn't looking, June became July, then August...

That's when it really started. August brought so many things into sharp focus. A series of decisions made by other people touched me on many levels and I made my own decisions accordingly.

I'm tired of rehashing what's behind me. Suffice it to say I was taught many things about myself, my past and my present. I was reminded WHO I AM, and who I want to be.

Today I sit here 13 pounds lighter, very tan, and keenly aware that I am not the same. I believe the change is primarily for the better. I have begun designing again and working on new Art projects. To me, this is a positive change.

But just like any other time of great change in my life, there has been a shift. I am thinking differently these days. I am seeing different people, different ideas, and different experiences take center stage now.

Life has taught me lessons that can not be unlearned, and shown me things that cannot be unseen. I am trying to go slower, sleep better, listen more.

I drive with no music more often, and I sit here with no phone in my hand every now and then. I just take more time to *feel* what is happening each day. The stillness speaks, and for once I am listening.

I'm different.

It feels strange, but it's good, and I look forward to the next experience...

Early on, he set his hand on my knee as he told me I needed to be a better listener. At the time I had no idea what a profound lesson he was teaching me.

Now I am listening... and I am "hearing" so much more.

The stillness speaks, and I am changed. ~

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