Ahhh....

She was in that place between awake and dreaming when thoughts of the evening replayed in her mind. He was funny and kind and wonderful. He always was.

He had his own way of dealing with her. She supposed that's how she knew he loved her, too. He would never say it, of course. But he had shown it in so many ways.

No one had ever truly *seen* her the way he had. He taught her that it was safe to be herself. That she could set herself free and truly be happy. That's how she knew he would always be a part of her, no matter where their paths would lead.

And he was the only one who was ever truly honest with her. As the years went by she had learned what a rare gift that really was. It was one thing to be so intelligent and charming and sexy... but the frank reality and honesty took some getting used to.

She could still remember sitting at the table the very first time they met. This was someone so fun, so smart... and those crystal blue eyes. The best part was that he had no idea how charming he was. Or, perhaps he did.

He always said "I'm just REAL." But she knew he was so much more. No one had ever done the things for her that he had done. The miles driven, the time spent laughing, sharing, teaching each other. Even when his car didn't play along on their trip, and her meds didn't either, it was the best time she'd had and she craved more.

Sure, there may be days when they drove each other crazy, but they always ended up right where they belonged- together, doing all of their favorite things. And that's all she ever wanted...

Day 1... Again

I had a health scare this weekend. It really showed me that I take my health for granted. One minute I am sleeping all snuggly in my bed, and the next moment I am awakened by a gripping tightness in the middle of my chest. It was getting worse as the minutes went by, with no change as I repositioned, trying to go back to sleep.

I finally got up and had my coffee, pretending to be fine for the kids. I only told Al until he convinced me I should go to the hospital. I let him take me to the ER where they had me hooked up to an EKG immediately upon hearing the words "chest pain."

After 22-1/2 hours, three blood tests, a stress test, and numerous visits from various doctors, I was told it was not a heart attack, everything looks good, but my heart muscle is weak and I MUST lose weight.

So, today I went swimming, drank four glasses of water so far, took my vitamins and thought long and hard about what really matters to me...

Day 1.