I got my haircut this week. I look like myself again. It always amazes me how I just get lost sometimes, and something as simple as a haircut snaps me right back on course. :-)
My journey is still changing every day. Today I realize that nothing is "settled". I am simply learning to be happy in this flow at the moment.
Lots of things in my life are still in motion, leading me in unknown directions. Relationship dynamics are changing, my living arrangement has changed, and my routine is lost for good.
Apparently, this is good for me. I tend to get stagnant in my spirit when I don't have motion on my path. I am consumed with new ideas to let out in an artistic medium, and my studio is ready and waiting.
There will be time in my near future, and I will use it wisely. My struggle today is choosing a medium for the image most clearly focused in my mind's eye. I am seeing three dimensions, but I cannot find the base. Is it fabric? Canvas? Wood?
I can feel this image in my cells and it will show me how to free it from my soul when the time is right. I will trust and let go. The little girl will appear as she pleases.
In the meantime, I am happy. In a calm, present way... I have peace. I am in flux, my path is evolving, and tomorrow is unknown. Even so, I have a peace beyond understanding that everything is happening exactly as it is supposed to.
Drink water.
Get sleep.
Trust in your journey.
Peace~
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peace. Show all posts
September 16, 2012
August 26, 2012
When you're not looking...
...there it is.
I had a crazy week, and it ended in such a surprise that I am truly taken aback. I went on a date that was nothing like I had imagined it would be. Hhmmm....
Plenty to think about. It was ironic that he wondered if I had someone at home and that I might be playing games. That thought had never occurred to me before. Ha ha! I'm so used to being played, it never entered my mind that a man would be worried I was playing him. Imagine that...
Island man is definitely getting a second date. There is so much there to explore and learn from. I look forward to the process. I look forward to getting to know more about this man that has done so many things, and experienced things I never thought about before.
I can see he has arrived at a time when I am ready to learn the lessons he has to teach me. My soul feels peace about this.
It has nothing to do with dating, or relationships. It's the kind of feeling I had when Michael found me. I wish I hadn't lost him. Perhaps I should revive the search. Sherri was the only one who ever met him.
I always felt like we were supposed to have a deeper connection, but we could never seem to get there. Now I understand that I was not spiritually mature enough yet. How I miss those days of talking in his kitchen while he cooked for us. Or discussing Art while he was up on a ladder under the orange trees and I was below with the bag.
I guess I am feeling that Spirit has sent me another Island man to learn the next lesson, and I am so grateful.
The amazing thing is that I know it affected him, too. :-)
I had a crazy week, and it ended in such a surprise that I am truly taken aback. I went on a date that was nothing like I had imagined it would be. Hhmmm....
Plenty to think about. It was ironic that he wondered if I had someone at home and that I might be playing games. That thought had never occurred to me before. Ha ha! I'm so used to being played, it never entered my mind that a man would be worried I was playing him. Imagine that...
Island man is definitely getting a second date. There is so much there to explore and learn from. I look forward to the process. I look forward to getting to know more about this man that has done so many things, and experienced things I never thought about before.
I can see he has arrived at a time when I am ready to learn the lessons he has to teach me. My soul feels peace about this.
It has nothing to do with dating, or relationships. It's the kind of feeling I had when Michael found me. I wish I hadn't lost him. Perhaps I should revive the search. Sherri was the only one who ever met him.
I always felt like we were supposed to have a deeper connection, but we could never seem to get there. Now I understand that I was not spiritually mature enough yet. How I miss those days of talking in his kitchen while he cooked for us. Or discussing Art while he was up on a ladder under the orange trees and I was below with the bag.
I guess I am feeling that Spirit has sent me another Island man to learn the next lesson, and I am so grateful.
The amazing thing is that I know it affected him, too. :-)
August 10, 2012
Ahhh....
She was in that place between awake and dreaming when thoughts of the evening replayed in her mind. He was funny and kind and wonderful. He always was.
He had his own way of dealing with her. She supposed that's how she knew he loved her, too. He would never say it, of course. But he had shown it in so many ways.
No one had ever truly *seen* her the way he had. He taught her that it was safe to be herself. That she could set herself free and truly be happy. That's how she knew he would always be a part of her, no matter where their paths would lead.
And he was the only one who was ever truly honest with her. As the years went by she had learned what a rare gift that really was. It was one thing to be so intelligent and charming and sexy... but the frank reality and honesty took some getting used to.
She could still remember sitting at the table the very first time they met. This was someone so fun, so smart... and those crystal blue eyes. The best part was that he had no idea how charming he was. Or, perhaps he did.
He always said "I'm just REAL." But she knew he was so much more. No one had ever done the things for her that he had done. The miles driven, the time spent laughing, sharing, teaching each other. Even when his car didn't play along on their trip, and her meds didn't either, it was the best time she'd had and she craved more.
Sure, there may be days when they drove each other crazy, but they always ended up right where they belonged- together, doing all of their favorite things. And that's all she ever wanted...
He had his own way of dealing with her. She supposed that's how she knew he loved her, too. He would never say it, of course. But he had shown it in so many ways.
No one had ever truly *seen* her the way he had. He taught her that it was safe to be herself. That she could set herself free and truly be happy. That's how she knew he would always be a part of her, no matter where their paths would lead.
And he was the only one who was ever truly honest with her. As the years went by she had learned what a rare gift that really was. It was one thing to be so intelligent and charming and sexy... but the frank reality and honesty took some getting used to.
She could still remember sitting at the table the very first time they met. This was someone so fun, so smart... and those crystal blue eyes. The best part was that he had no idea how charming he was. Or, perhaps he did.
He always said "I'm just REAL." But she knew he was so much more. No one had ever done the things for her that he had done. The miles driven, the time spent laughing, sharing, teaching each other. Even when his car didn't play along on their trip, and her meds didn't either, it was the best time she'd had and she craved more.
Sure, there may be days when they drove each other crazy, but they always ended up right where they belonged- together, doing all of their favorite things. And that's all she ever wanted...
May 13, 2012
Happy Mother's Day
Well, I got up earlier, hung out in the fresh air for a while and then went back to sleep. Just. Because. I. Could.
That's the best way to spend a day....
Now I'm waiting for my favorite home cooked meal, and time to chill before work. :-)
I hope all of the moms out there are having the day they really wanted, too!
That's the best way to spend a day....
Now I'm waiting for my favorite home cooked meal, and time to chill before work. :-)
I hope all of the moms out there are having the day they really wanted, too!
August 22, 2011
I'm Still Here and I'm Still Me. :-)
Good Morning!
It is a gorgeous day in Central Florida! So beautiful, in fact, that you would never guess that we might have a hurricane here by Thursday or Friday:
I'm not worried, of course. I lived here in 2004 when we had Charlie, Frances, and Jeanne. UGH. I will simply stock up on water and canned goods in case the power is out for an extended length of time if it comes through here.
I am really glad to live in Lakeland where we have our own power company. It's a much shorter wait to get the lights back on than when we lived out in the county on the far edge of TECO's coverage. I also live in a giant cement building and we have city water now, instead of a septic system. Amen!
I am something of a storm junkie. I love weather systems. It's exciting to watch the radars and see what's coming and how far it extends across the state before it's over. I should have been a meteorologist. LOL
And our skies... The Florida skies are just gorgeous when the rain moves in. The Northern skies were just plain gray. Blah. We get all kinds of amazing sky here.
Enough about the weather. In other news, my life is going really well. Cassidy left yesterday with Jessica and they got to Ohio in the middle of the night, all safe and sound. Tomorrow she will drive to Alex at school in Indiana to drop off his boxes, then finish the trip to Illinois.
Now it is just the three of us. Maddie has already made the apartment look great! We have all kinds of room in our bedroom and our closet now, too. LOL
Last week's work on the art studio in the dining room has really paid off, too. I have been working on three or four projects throughout the week, doing a little more here and there and "Arting every day." It is so good for my spirit. I am sleeping better, and feeling more balanced. Creating is just so good for my soul...
Speaking of Soul... One of my dreams is to take off on a journey once the kids are out of the house. I want to dye my hair pink, hop in my RV with Annie and take off on the ultimate journey of freedom. I even have my outfit all planned for the day I drive away. :-) I will sell my Art and do freelance writing to support myself, my dog, and my lifestyle.
I plan on selling everything I have left by then and having my mobile house totally paid for before I leave. That way my bills will only be insurance, maintenance, cell & internet, gas and living expenses. I am also willing to do Workamping to make it happen. The plan is to try it for one year. Just 365 days with no one making demands on my who, what, where, and when. I also love the idea of having no permanent address. Wherever I am will be home.
After I fulfill my 365 mission, I will decide if I want to put down roots. That will be a well-informed decision after finally seeing so many parts of the country. I may be surprised at where I end up, but I suspect it will not be Florida. I do love it here, but it makes me crazy that the first 5 hours of any road trip is just getting out of this state! :-P
Yep, I have plenty more research to do. I was all set on a midsize Class C with a bicycle ntil I looked at the Airstreams. Now I have to find a vehicle that wold tow it and still feel like a "Jodi" car. That's a challenge, for sure!
I'm off to do more dreaming... Have a great day!
wandering~
It is a gorgeous day in Central Florida! So beautiful, in fact, that you would never guess that we might have a hurricane here by Thursday or Friday:
I'm not worried, of course. I lived here in 2004 when we had Charlie, Frances, and Jeanne. UGH. I will simply stock up on water and canned goods in case the power is out for an extended length of time if it comes through here.
I am really glad to live in Lakeland where we have our own power company. It's a much shorter wait to get the lights back on than when we lived out in the county on the far edge of TECO's coverage. I also live in a giant cement building and we have city water now, instead of a septic system. Amen!
I am something of a storm junkie. I love weather systems. It's exciting to watch the radars and see what's coming and how far it extends across the state before it's over. I should have been a meteorologist. LOL
And our skies... The Florida skies are just gorgeous when the rain moves in. The Northern skies were just plain gray. Blah. We get all kinds of amazing sky here.
Enough about the weather. In other news, my life is going really well. Cassidy left yesterday with Jessica and they got to Ohio in the middle of the night, all safe and sound. Tomorrow she will drive to Alex at school in Indiana to drop off his boxes, then finish the trip to Illinois.
Now it is just the three of us. Maddie has already made the apartment look great! We have all kinds of room in our bedroom and our closet now, too. LOL
Last week's work on the art studio in the dining room has really paid off, too. I have been working on three or four projects throughout the week, doing a little more here and there and "Arting every day." It is so good for my spirit. I am sleeping better, and feeling more balanced. Creating is just so good for my soul...
Speaking of Soul... One of my dreams is to take off on a journey once the kids are out of the house. I want to dye my hair pink, hop in my RV with Annie and take off on the ultimate journey of freedom. I even have my outfit all planned for the day I drive away. :-) I will sell my Art and do freelance writing to support myself, my dog, and my lifestyle.
I plan on selling everything I have left by then and having my mobile house totally paid for before I leave. That way my bills will only be insurance, maintenance, cell & internet, gas and living expenses. I am also willing to do Workamping to make it happen. The plan is to try it for one year. Just 365 days with no one making demands on my who, what, where, and when. I also love the idea of having no permanent address. Wherever I am will be home.
After I fulfill my 365 mission, I will decide if I want to put down roots. That will be a well-informed decision after finally seeing so many parts of the country. I may be surprised at where I end up, but I suspect it will not be Florida. I do love it here, but it makes me crazy that the first 5 hours of any road trip is just getting out of this state! :-P
Yep, I have plenty more research to do. I was all set on a midsize Class C with a bicycle ntil I looked at the Airstreams. Now I have to find a vehicle that wold tow it and still feel like a "Jodi" car. That's a challenge, for sure!
I'm off to do more dreaming... Have a great day!
wandering~
July 29, 2011
Soaking it in...
Life is like a roller coaster. Ups and downs, ins and outs.
This week I have made peace with the events of last weekend and I am simply happy to have such a very dear friend for the rest of our lives. :-) I am also SERIOUSLY looking forward to going back to play again. Saturday was soooo fun!
For now I am focusing in a new direction. Well, maybe not so new, as I once spent a beautiful six months in that direction... A friend asked me why women always look to men to provide emotional needs that they just can't provide. It got me thinking about a relationship I had once that was so easy and good it scared me and sent me running. I am going to give it another shot while I still can and if it's good, I won't run this time.
Looking back at the past this week has given me some great art ideas. I was all ready to Art today except that I was literally falling asleep on the highway on my way home from work. NOT GOOD. So, I came straight home and went to bed. Now I have to run a few errands and get more rest before going back to work.
Perhaps I will make up a small travel kit to take to work in case I am able to take a real lunch. Last night was not bad at all. Hopefully, this whole weekend will go by fast and it will be Tuesday before I know it.
For my "cuddly friend" if you are reading this: I treasure you and will always be here for you. I look forward to another Wednesday very soon!
And to all of my friends and readers: May your weekend be filled with sunshine and spontaneity!
feeling~
This week I have made peace with the events of last weekend and I am simply happy to have such a very dear friend for the rest of our lives. :-) I am also SERIOUSLY looking forward to going back to play again. Saturday was soooo fun!
For now I am focusing in a new direction. Well, maybe not so new, as I once spent a beautiful six months in that direction... A friend asked me why women always look to men to provide emotional needs that they just can't provide. It got me thinking about a relationship I had once that was so easy and good it scared me and sent me running. I am going to give it another shot while I still can and if it's good, I won't run this time.
Looking back at the past this week has given me some great art ideas. I was all ready to Art today except that I was literally falling asleep on the highway on my way home from work. NOT GOOD. So, I came straight home and went to bed. Now I have to run a few errands and get more rest before going back to work.
Perhaps I will make up a small travel kit to take to work in case I am able to take a real lunch. Last night was not bad at all. Hopefully, this whole weekend will go by fast and it will be Tuesday before I know it.
For my "cuddly friend" if you are reading this: I treasure you and will always be here for you. I look forward to another Wednesday very soon!
And to all of my friends and readers: May your weekend be filled with sunshine and spontaneity!
feeling~
July 13, 2011
Lasting Effects
Well, I can honestly say that I am now seeing the way Sunday's experience is having lasting effects on my psyche. I do think it is a good influence, rather than a negative one.
The woman from Brazil was 42, just one year older than I. She was pretty and had an average figure. In fact, we guessed her to be around 30 until we got her information. There was no outward sign of illness or foul play. No drugs or alcohol visible in the area, no medical equipment, etc. This leads me to remember on a whole new level that life is short and can end at any moment. We need to prioritize our time and values and grab happiness anywhere we can.
As is usual for me whenever I find myself starting over in life, I really take time to assess my thoughts, my feelings, my ambitions, and how I spend my time. This weekend drove the point home even deeper that it is ever necessary to connect with those that mean the most to me and follow my personal path to fulfillment.
I make no apologies for being me. I will call when I feel the need to call and I will move heaven and earth to accomplish my goals. I do get tunnel vision and tend to focus too much on two or three things for a while, shutting all else out of view until I notice I am out of balance, then feel guilty that I haven't called so and so or haven't finished this or that project. But in the end, I am happy that I was true to myself in the moment.
Last night I was totally unfettered and could have made plans with anyone. I decided to use the time for myself, and did not call any of the friends that haven't seen me and have been texting for weeks wondering where I ran off to. I just did what was best for me, and I am glad I did.
I woke up after a really great sleep and took my time with coffee. I did a load of wash, showered, and ran out of the house. By 7:30 I was walking into B & N in Brandon and headed for my favorite section. I stood in front of the books with no agenda. I simply perused the titles and let them speak to me.
I ended up at the cafe getting my Grande White Mocha and sitting down with an eclectic mix of reading. One title I was surprised to find had relevance to my Wednesday friend. Strange, how there were randomly placed three copies of this one book throughout the section. One of twelve pieces of a puzzle, but simply three copies on this piece and none of the others. By the time I found the third copy, it was OBVIOUS I was there to read it. So, naturally, I read every word of the small tome.
Today we communicated and I knew right away why I was supposed to read that book. The message I walked away with last night was that we are different, for sure, and this will give us challenges in understanding each other. But it would be worth it in the end to continue to make the effort. In the end, our similarities can overcome our differences and a significant meeting of the minds can be beneficial to both of us.
Today I will wander. I have a time and a destination. But I will leave as soon as I am ready and I will wander along veering this way and that until I arrive. I will not be staying as long as usual and I will once again wander on the way home. Perhaps another 3am visit to Starbucks with my journal?
All that matters is that I take each day as it is and make the most of it. All that matters is that I am exactly who and what I need to be today and that I accept others for being who and what they need to be today. For tomorrow is promised to none of us, and today is all there is...
Living~
The woman from Brazil was 42, just one year older than I. She was pretty and had an average figure. In fact, we guessed her to be around 30 until we got her information. There was no outward sign of illness or foul play. No drugs or alcohol visible in the area, no medical equipment, etc. This leads me to remember on a whole new level that life is short and can end at any moment. We need to prioritize our time and values and grab happiness anywhere we can.
As is usual for me whenever I find myself starting over in life, I really take time to assess my thoughts, my feelings, my ambitions, and how I spend my time. This weekend drove the point home even deeper that it is ever necessary to connect with those that mean the most to me and follow my personal path to fulfillment.
I make no apologies for being me. I will call when I feel the need to call and I will move heaven and earth to accomplish my goals. I do get tunnel vision and tend to focus too much on two or three things for a while, shutting all else out of view until I notice I am out of balance, then feel guilty that I haven't called so and so or haven't finished this or that project. But in the end, I am happy that I was true to myself in the moment.
Last night I was totally unfettered and could have made plans with anyone. I decided to use the time for myself, and did not call any of the friends that haven't seen me and have been texting for weeks wondering where I ran off to. I just did what was best for me, and I am glad I did.
I woke up after a really great sleep and took my time with coffee. I did a load of wash, showered, and ran out of the house. By 7:30 I was walking into B & N in Brandon and headed for my favorite section. I stood in front of the books with no agenda. I simply perused the titles and let them speak to me.
I ended up at the cafe getting my Grande White Mocha and sitting down with an eclectic mix of reading. One title I was surprised to find had relevance to my Wednesday friend. Strange, how there were randomly placed three copies of this one book throughout the section. One of twelve pieces of a puzzle, but simply three copies on this piece and none of the others. By the time I found the third copy, it was OBVIOUS I was there to read it. So, naturally, I read every word of the small tome.
Today we communicated and I knew right away why I was supposed to read that book. The message I walked away with last night was that we are different, for sure, and this will give us challenges in understanding each other. But it would be worth it in the end to continue to make the effort. In the end, our similarities can overcome our differences and a significant meeting of the minds can be beneficial to both of us.
Today I will wander. I have a time and a destination. But I will leave as soon as I am ready and I will wander along veering this way and that until I arrive. I will not be staying as long as usual and I will once again wander on the way home. Perhaps another 3am visit to Starbucks with my journal?
All that matters is that I take each day as it is and make the most of it. All that matters is that I am exactly who and what I need to be today and that I accept others for being who and what they need to be today. For tomorrow is promised to none of us, and today is all there is...
Living~
July 12, 2011
Good Riddance!
I just wrapped up the most challenging week I had at work since last November! It feels good to be off until Thursday. And, I have no restrictions on my free time this week. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want- a REAL weekend!
I guess all of the emotional crap I have been clearing out of my head has really helped my process. I actually let myself deal with Sunday morning's ordeal on Sunday. No stuffing and pretending I'm fine. I did what I knew I needed to do as the day went along, and I allowed myself to feel what I needed to feel. By Monday morning I was doing much better. By last night, I already felt like myself again.
Now I am home and trying to decide what to do first. It's actually a really nice day today. The sun is shining and the sky is beautiful. If the pool was open I would go right now. Unfortunately, I will probably fall asleep before it does.
I have books to read, and art to work on, and projects to pursue...
Choices~
I guess all of the emotional crap I have been clearing out of my head has really helped my process. I actually let myself deal with Sunday morning's ordeal on Sunday. No stuffing and pretending I'm fine. I did what I knew I needed to do as the day went along, and I allowed myself to feel what I needed to feel. By Monday morning I was doing much better. By last night, I already felt like myself again.
Now I am home and trying to decide what to do first. It's actually a really nice day today. The sun is shining and the sky is beautiful. If the pool was open I would go right now. Unfortunately, I will probably fall asleep before it does.
I have books to read, and art to work on, and projects to pursue...
Choices~
July 7, 2011
Seriously behind...
Well, I have been out living my great life and I got behind on my blogging. Sure, I did send some recent posts through my iPhone email from work, but it's not the same as writing on my laptop. There is something about the full blogging experience with my keyboard in my lap while I am relaxing and letting my mind wander on subjects to write about.
I have still been journaling like crazy, though. I do feel I am at my highest expression of myself when I am writing regularly. It feeds my spirit in so many ways. The thoughts ebb and flow and take on a life of their own until I simply must let them out onto the paper to make sense of it all. Looking back over the weeks and months of writing helps me stay focused on my growth, as well.
Speaking of growth, I am really proud of myself. It feels really good to be happy when I look in the mirror. I am settled into my new look and more motivated than ever to keep making positive changes in my daily routine. The fast results are just astounding now that I am happy again. I forgot how easy it is to move forward once the blocks are cleared out of the way. The snowball has reached the point of momentum downhill and it's speeding up all the time.
Yesterday was a particularly good day. I ran around in the morning with Madalin and we got more accomplished than I expected to before Noon. By one o'clock I was the first to arrive at Applebee's for the Wednesday date with mom and Tara and I actually got to catch up a bit before it got too busy.
From there I made my drive to see the boytoy. I had a great time. Sure, I brought a movie that was NOT at all what I remembered from seeing it 25 years or so ago. LOL But we talked, and we laughed, and it felt like we were really on the same page the whole time. It's really fun now that we have spent enough time together to have our own silly private jokes and stories. I'm looking forward to spending a whole weekend together soon.
I am also really looking forward to work tonight. We have so many fun people working extra shifts to help us with all of the Latin Season craziness. It seems like almost every night I see an old friend I used to work with in Security, or meet someone new with fresh conversation. I am especially proud of how my team steps up their game to meet the demands of our busiest season of the year. I work with some fine people that make me proud to be in the thick of it with them.
So, yeah, life is good! :-) I think I'll just sit back and enjoy it for a while. I've certainly worked hard enough to get here.
Living~
I have still been journaling like crazy, though. I do feel I am at my highest expression of myself when I am writing regularly. It feeds my spirit in so many ways. The thoughts ebb and flow and take on a life of their own until I simply must let them out onto the paper to make sense of it all. Looking back over the weeks and months of writing helps me stay focused on my growth, as well.
Speaking of growth, I am really proud of myself. It feels really good to be happy when I look in the mirror. I am settled into my new look and more motivated than ever to keep making positive changes in my daily routine. The fast results are just astounding now that I am happy again. I forgot how easy it is to move forward once the blocks are cleared out of the way. The snowball has reached the point of momentum downhill and it's speeding up all the time.
Yesterday was a particularly good day. I ran around in the morning with Madalin and we got more accomplished than I expected to before Noon. By one o'clock I was the first to arrive at Applebee's for the Wednesday date with mom and Tara and I actually got to catch up a bit before it got too busy.
From there I made my drive to see the boytoy. I had a great time. Sure, I brought a movie that was NOT at all what I remembered from seeing it 25 years or so ago. LOL But we talked, and we laughed, and it felt like we were really on the same page the whole time. It's really fun now that we have spent enough time together to have our own silly private jokes and stories. I'm looking forward to spending a whole weekend together soon.
I am also really looking forward to work tonight. We have so many fun people working extra shifts to help us with all of the Latin Season craziness. It seems like almost every night I see an old friend I used to work with in Security, or meet someone new with fresh conversation. I am especially proud of how my team steps up their game to meet the demands of our busiest season of the year. I work with some fine people that make me proud to be in the thick of it with them.
So, yeah, life is good! :-) I think I'll just sit back and enjoy it for a while. I've certainly worked hard enough to get here.
Living~
June 30, 2011
Clarity, it does a body good!
Happy Thursday, dear readers! Today is the first day of the rest of our lives! LOL
Yes, I'm in a mood today. But it's all good. I think I have gotten more sleep since Tuesday morning than I have in weeks. LOL The beautiful result is that I feel like ME for the first time in years. Truly.
I have been on an amazing path of discovery for the last twelve months and today I feel that so many lessons about who and what I am have brought me to right here, right now. It has been a difficult journey, to say the least. But on this path, I have learned more about myself than I ever dreamed I still needed to learn.
It was hard to face so many truths along the way. It was difficult to get truly honest with myself and finally work through some old issues once and for all... But today I have a clarity and lightness I have never been able to fully realize before this moment.
Ironically, it took me realizing what I DON'T want in order to finally see what I DO want. Go figure. But now that I have made it this far, it can only get better. For this is the woman who took a chance almost four years ago and went to Ale House to eat salad with a genius. This is the girl who chops off her hair on a whim, and makes sweeping changes in an instant because she needs a fresh start. And this is the woman who remembers never to compromise, because I deserve only the best life has to offer.
It's been a wild ride, but I sure have learned a lot. I always said I am a Work in Progress, and I hope I am never finished.
Here's to seeing what tomorrow may bring~
Yes, I'm in a mood today. But it's all good. I think I have gotten more sleep since Tuesday morning than I have in weeks. LOL The beautiful result is that I feel like ME for the first time in years. Truly.
I have been on an amazing path of discovery for the last twelve months and today I feel that so many lessons about who and what I am have brought me to right here, right now. It has been a difficult journey, to say the least. But on this path, I have learned more about myself than I ever dreamed I still needed to learn.
It was hard to face so many truths along the way. It was difficult to get truly honest with myself and finally work through some old issues once and for all... But today I have a clarity and lightness I have never been able to fully realize before this moment.
Ironically, it took me realizing what I DON'T want in order to finally see what I DO want. Go figure. But now that I have made it this far, it can only get better. For this is the woman who took a chance almost four years ago and went to Ale House to eat salad with a genius. This is the girl who chops off her hair on a whim, and makes sweeping changes in an instant because she needs a fresh start. And this is the woman who remembers never to compromise, because I deserve only the best life has to offer.
It's been a wild ride, but I sure have learned a lot. I always said I am a Work in Progress, and I hope I am never finished.
Here's to seeing what tomorrow may bring~
June 17, 2011
Clearing...
In my studies of self-awareness through meditation and the Metaphysical, there is a lot of talk about clearing old emotional blocks. These can literally be emotional memories stored within your cells. The mind/body connection has been proven over and over and studies have shown that what is happening on the mental or emotional level has a direct correlation with what manifests in our physical bodies. This happened to me in January of this year.
Facing the emotions tied to these memories is crucial to clearing them from your path in order to move forward on your journey. Deep-rooted pains and traumas can keep you locked into old ways of thinking and being that are not healthy and can definitely hinder your emotional and spiritual growth. A clearing of these blocks is necessary for any progress to be made toward reaching the next level of awareness and consciousness.
From the moment I let go and stepped into my flow, unafraid to face whatever comes up, I have been on a journey of facing my own traumas and fears. It is an uncomfortable process for sure. But with each step forward, I walk through the pain to the other side, where there is only light and peace and freedom.
I just posted a story that began with a song and ended in a heartache. But once the heartache was faced and I understood what it was trying to tell me, I have clarity and peace. I can breathe deeper and easier after walking straight through it and coming out on the other side. I feel the joy after the rain.
When the student is ready, the teacher will come. I am finally ready to do the hard work and feel the growth within the painful process of clearing. The exhilaration on the other side beckons me to take the next step on my journey.
Peace~
Facing the emotions tied to these memories is crucial to clearing them from your path in order to move forward on your journey. Deep-rooted pains and traumas can keep you locked into old ways of thinking and being that are not healthy and can definitely hinder your emotional and spiritual growth. A clearing of these blocks is necessary for any progress to be made toward reaching the next level of awareness and consciousness.
From the moment I let go and stepped into my flow, unafraid to face whatever comes up, I have been on a journey of facing my own traumas and fears. It is an uncomfortable process for sure. But with each step forward, I walk through the pain to the other side, where there is only light and peace and freedom.
I just posted a story that began with a song and ended in a heartache. But once the heartache was faced and I understood what it was trying to tell me, I have clarity and peace. I can breathe deeper and easier after walking straight through it and coming out on the other side. I feel the joy after the rain.
When the student is ready, the teacher will come. I am finally ready to do the hard work and feel the growth within the painful process of clearing. The exhilaration on the other side beckons me to take the next step on my journey.
Peace~
June 6, 2011
Time for an update, don'tcha think?
Well, much has happened since I began this New Year in my new life. This time I started over in a much better place than ever before. A nicer home, an established career, a better attitude. Although, I did take some time off from school and work to regroup.
I stayed in for most of January and February just chilling and getting a handle on my emotions and my plans for the future. I was an island of self-sufficiency and, in time, I found a place of peace... in my heart and in my mind. Eventually I reached a place where I was able to forgive Dean and I for our choices that led us to this point. And, while I still have no desire to ever see him or speak to him again, I did text him two weeks ago and told him to finalize things already.
In March the little kids and I drove to Alabama to pick up Annie, our Pembroke Welsh Corgi puppy.
We have a million pictures of this precious baby who has stolen our hearts. :-)
In April I returned to Mitchell, Indiana for the Hoosier Stitchers Retreat and a visit to see Alex at Franklin College. It was an amazing time! The girls were all as excited to see me as I was to see them and I came home inspired for new designs and new projects. Seeing Alex in his element is always a great time, too. This year we decided to forgo the hotel and I stayed with him in his dorm. Excellent choice! We made a bunch of new memories during our brief time together and then I headed back home.
I drove home with a horrible migraine from a change in my meds and it took two weeks to feel better. But once I was feeling like myself again, I did what I always do... I jumped into my life with both feet and started LIVING again. LOL
I've been journaling, reconnecting with old friends, making new friends, and even DATING again. Ah, there's some stories! LOL But I'll save those for later. For now, just know that I am still here and I am as adventurous as ever. :-)
June 17, 2010
My Soul is Tired
That's right. My Soul. If you can relate, it's because your soul is weary, too. There is so much going on in this world today. Too much bombarding us moment by moment. It is not easy to take a step back and go within, but it is vital to feed our soul. The quiet within is the only place we can hear our true nature speaking to us.
It is one thing to know the information of everything around us. But to know what to do about it, or what relationship it has to our personal journey, we must go within for those answers. It would be easy to get caught up in the surface energy of the false paradigms all around us: lies, tryranny, politics, unemployment, financial crisis on the global or the personal level. We have all gotten too caught up in it at one time or another...
But there is a deeper truth that is hurtling us through this reality, and it is vital that we each take the time to go within and find out what that truth is for ourselves. That's what I have been doing and that is why I know my soul is tired. The schedules, the demands on me and my time, the increasing pressures at work, the constant needing is draining me on every level and I am trying to find my way to some peace...
December 17, 2009
I will...
I will dye my hair hot pink and live in an RV. I will stitch and write and paint and sell my work to support myself. I will travel to Austin, Texas and Santa Fe, New Mexico and meet other artists and free spirits.
And I will share with them my secrets.
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