Ah, life. What a funny thing it is when we think we understand life and what it is trying to teach us. We plan, we expect, we think we have it all figured out. And then we wake up.


I am on a mini vacation from work and my life this weekend, and it has been very awakening for my soul. I see so many things more clearly now after taking a step back and reassessing. I am deeply moved to make Art when I return home. There is a new purpose within me to follow my instincts and move further along my path toward the next great adventure. 


In recent weeks I was looking in one direction, not seeing the other paths laid out before me like rays surrounding the sun 360* in every direction. Today I am filled with wanderlust and a desire for another road trip. Perhaps tomorrow I will meander to a new locale and hang out in new surroundings before heading home.


When I planned this weekend, I had a certain mindset for what it was going to be like. From the beginning, I found out it was not going to be what I expected at all. At first I had to process the change. It seemed too drastic and sudden. It seemed I had relied too much on my previous experiences and thought patterns to make sense of where I was at. But each day the Universe teaches me that I have so much more to learn before settling in one place with my Spirit. 


Today, after sleeping well, and waking up with my coffee, I am looking at my life with fresh eyes and seeing what should have been so obvious before. I am not ready to be "set" yet. I am too fluid and my desires are still changing from one day to the next as I learn more about myself and where I am going with my life.


I feel today that there is a great new adventure before me. It is not about my family, my job, or anyone special in my life. It is about my Spirit, and my Art, and my personal path to fulfillment. It is a very clear and gently paved path with trees on either side and bright sunlight shining through the branches onto the road. I shall follow along while my guides lead me to that magical place where my muse can speak serenely to my soul and prompt me to create the the stories that beg to be released in pictures and in words. 


I will create and I will write and I will paint and I will sew and I will bring wildly delightful creations to life with all of my talents. I will share these creations with the world and my heart and soul will be satisfied from doing what I was meant to do. 


Whatever else happens along the way with life and relationships and responsibilities will be secondary to it all. For I will be feeding my Spirit and that is all that life requires...


Musing~

Clarity, it does a body good!

Happy Thursday, dear readers! Today is the first day of the rest of our lives! LOL

Yes, I'm in a mood today. But it's all good. I think I have gotten more sleep since Tuesday morning than I have in weeks. LOL The beautiful result is that I feel like ME for the first time in years. Truly.

I have been on an amazing path of discovery for the last twelve months and today I feel that so many lessons about who and what I am have brought me to right here, right now. It has been a difficult journey, to say the least. But on this path, I have learned more about myself than I ever dreamed I still needed to learn.

It was hard to face so many truths along the way. It was difficult to get truly honest with myself and finally work through some old issues once and for all... But today I have a clarity and lightness I have never been able to fully realize before this moment.

Ironically, it took me realizing what I DON'T want in order to finally see what I DO want. Go figure. But now that I have made it this far, it can only get better. For this is the woman who took a chance almost four years ago and went to Ale House to eat salad with a genius. This is the girl who chops off her hair on a whim, and makes sweeping changes in an instant because she needs a fresh start. And this is the woman who remembers never to compromise, because I deserve only the best life has to offer.

It's been a wild ride, but I sure have learned a lot. I always said I am a Work in Progress, and I hope I am never finished.

Here's to seeing what tomorrow may bring~

Time for an update, don'tcha think?

Well, much has happened since I began this New Year in my new life. This time I started over in a much better place than ever before. A nicer home, an established career, a better attitude. Although, I did take some time off from school and work to regroup.

I stayed in for most of January and February just chilling and getting a handle on my emotions and my plans for the future. I was an island of self-sufficiency and, in time, I found a place of peace... in my heart and in my mind. Eventually I reached a place where I was able to forgive Dean and I for our choices that led us to this point. And, while I still have no desire to ever see him or speak to him again, I did text him two weeks ago and told him to finalize things already.

In March the little kids and I drove to Alabama to pick up Annie, our Pembroke Welsh Corgi puppy.

We have a million pictures of this precious baby who has stolen our hearts. :-)

In April I returned to Mitchell, Indiana for the Hoosier Stitchers Retreat and a visit to see Alex at Franklin College. It was an amazing time! The girls were all as excited to see me as I was to see them and I came home inspired for new designs and new projects. Seeing Alex in his element is always a great time, too. This year we decided to forgo the hotel and I stayed with him in his dorm. Excellent choice! We made a bunch of new memories during our brief time together and then I headed back home.

I drove home with a horrible migraine from a change in my meds and it took two weeks to feel better. But once I was feeling like myself again, I did what I always do... I jumped into my life with both feet and started LIVING again. LOL

I've been journaling, reconnecting with old friends, making new friends, and even DATING again. Ah, there's some stories! LOL But I'll save those for later. For now, just know that I am still here and I am as adventurous as ever. :-)

Peace.

Turning 40...

So, I'm turning 40 in two months and I have been doing a lot of thinking about this milestone...


It is so true that when you reach "a certain age" you look at the world differently and you think about your life differently. I have been looking at my life and what I think is important and I see the change that has taken place in my soul over the last few years. So much is different now.


Most of all, my hopes and dreams have changed. My priorities have changed. My love has changed. I understand so many things I never understood before.


This has pretty much been all for the best, but I do find I don't have patience for some of the people in my life that are not where I am. While I understand that it is purely their youth and naivete that makes them so foolish, I can't help but be really irritated when they don't get what really matters. However, I do realize that this is my problem and not theirs. They will find their own wisdom in time... So I slowly fade into my own world and gradually loosen the ties that bind us emotionally.


Right now I am very busy with school. This has been my lifelong dream and with each class, each semester, I get closer to my goal. Some of my friends don't understand my time crunch or my limits and they think I am forgetting them, or leaving them behind. That couldn't be further from the truth. I have very few people in my life who have been with me through my journey in the most important ways. They will always mean the world to me and will never be far from my heart. But this is my time, and I have to grab it and run with everything that I have.


And I am...

11/11

Eleven eleven. 

Seems as good as any other day to begin the new blog.

In my soul, I am a writer and an artist. I have always been an information junkie with a thirst for knowledge, and my social character gives me a natural drive for sharing what I learn. I am a student of the human condition. I love people and I am fascinated by our differences, our similarities, and by learning what makes us tick.

The challenge for me is understanding why other human beings in the same situations, faced with the same facts and circumstances, don't naturally have the same instinctive reactions that I do. This simply drives me to learn more.

My art has generally been centered around the idea that we are all unique and we do not fit in little boxes with labels. Life is messy and random and that's what makes it beautiful. Recently, I went back to college and my eyes are opening wider every day. My soul is flourishing and I am happier than I have ever been. My brain is overflowing with new concept, ideas, stories to express through my art. I am filled with new knowledge, truths, and facts that I can't keep to myself.

Through the years I dabbled in writing, blogging, and expressing myself through words. When I wasn't writing formally, words were sprinkled through my art, my designing, my decor. Words Words Words

Now it is time for me to pull it all together in one place and nurture the gift. I will write and I will create and when I am ready to share it, I will bring it here. Perhaps another human will find it worthy of reaction. Perhaps they will share what it made them feel. Or perhaps they won't. But either way, I will finally be honoring my spirit by doing what I was meant to do.