22 Years!

Today I have been a mother for twenty-two years. 


I don't know why, but the magnitude of that statement has really hit home for me today. For twenty-two years I have been responsible for another human being. For twenty-two years my life has not been my own. 


I was just 19 when I had Alexander Robert. I was married to his father for six months and we lived with my mother-in-law. I remember holding this precious child in my arms and looking at that little round face thinking I would do it again in a minute. And I did. Two years and five weeks later, I had my baby girl. Cassidy Evelyn was almost as big as Alex and just as good at eating and sleeping. They were the easiest babies and they brought us so much joy, we had Madalin Rose two years and three months later. Madalin never did eat or sleep as well as the big two and I remember still rocking her to sleep for 15 months! I also remember looking down at her sleeping in her crib and thinking that if we had an accident that would be four mouths to feed. Whoa. 


Nevertheless, eventually we knew we wanted one more to round out the clan. Peter James came three years and eight months after Maddie. Baby P.J. was the light of all of our lives. We cried when he had to stay in the NICU and I came home with empty arms. I will never forget the feeling of pulling up in front of the house with no baby to carry inside. But we all went to see him and hold him and he did come home a few days later. Before long he was spoiled by all of us and loving every minute of it.


Today I look at these fine young adults and I think of all of the joy they have brought to my life. The hugs and kisses, the goodnight stories, the pageants and recitals, the softball games and drama rehearsals, the awards ceremonies- oh so many awards ceremonies for these bright over-achievers! I wouldn't trade a minute of the emergency room visits and sleepless nights and crayon on the walls and wondering if we have enough money for milk until payday... They have raised me as much as I have raised them. 


Yep. For twenty-two years I have been a mother, and it has been the greatest gift of my life. I will never do anything as important, as exhausting, or as rewarding as this journey called Motherhood. It has given me strength I never knew I had and a capacity for unconditional love and acceptance that is beyond comprehension.


Alex, Cassidy, Madalin, and Peter- I thank you for always believing in me and being there with a hug no matter what was going on in our life from day to day and year to year. I am so proud to be your mom. :-)


Smiling~