Can't shake it

I've been sick since Tuesday and it came in rather suddenly. By Thursday I was medicated, and my head has been in the clouds ever since.

I did get to speak with my dear friend on Friday. It was a wonderful time, as it always is, but we inadvertently landed in some emotional terrain. I was moved to be let in on such a private moment. I had seen this side a few times before, but this was different. It went deeper and it lingered.

Once the topic changed, there was another comment made that has stuck with me all weekend. This person joked about being "useless". Sure, they were laughing and throwing it around casually, but it haunts me.

That is a word that would never even enter my consciousness when thinking about this person. Quite the opposite, in fact. This is one man who understands what it is to "Man Up" and be everything a man is supposed to be.

He is intelligent, charming, responsible, kind, honest, has integrity and backbone, keeps his commitments, treats women with respect... The list goes on for days. He has a college education and has built a career, never losing who he really is.

If you can't tell by now, I have tremendous love and respect for this friend. So, yes, that use of the term useless really bothered me. Not only has our friendship added significant value to my experience on this planet, but he has single-handedly had the biggest effect on my personal growth and change through the last few years. Surely, there is nothing useless about that.

Anyway, it's just been on my mind a lot this weekend. Partly because I have been stuck at home getting through my illness, and partly because I realized Friday that I haven't shut up and listened enough where he is concerned. Yeah, there's a surprise, right?

Patiently he sits with me week after week, letting me go on about all my useless nonsense, laughing with me, and taking all of my crap. His reminders not to get hung up on little things frequently fall on deaf ears.

But every now and again I slow down. Whether by choice or circumstances, I do eventually slow down. And I see. I see everything laid out before me like the gift that it is: our past, our present, and our memories.

This friend is such an amazing gift in my life. I will definitely have to work harder at showing him the respect he has earned and deserves...

Thank you for loving me anyway ~